I'm Addicted to You
by soul555
Summary: It has been 5 years since Piper left Alex in Paris. Alex is still in the drug business. She comes back to New York for Nicky and Lorna's wedding. The night before the festivities, she goes out with some friends. What happens when she finds Piper in an unusual state? (Litchfield prison is not part of this story, but many of the show's characters are in the story)
1. Chapter 1

Hello to all! It's my first attempt at writing fan fiction and this idea has been sitting in my head for a while. Please follow and review, I'd love to hear your feedback to help me improve my writing, and to know if I should actually continue this story.

All characters are the property of Jenji Kohan and Piper Kerman. I am just borrowing them with absolutely no purpose of making any money.

Enjoy and review!

 **Chapter 1**

Alex's POV

Five years had passed since that awful day in Paris. Despite having resurfaced from hell, Alex still had harder days where Piper could not escape her mind. The two years following Piper's departure, Alex had given in to using the poison she sold. At first, Heroin provided relief from the pain the blond had caused, and from the injustice of her mother's death. But as time passed, even the pain remained when she was high, and it only made her cry endlessly for hours. So being the stubborn and determined woman that she still was, she stood back up, entered a rehab facility, and became once more the great Alex Vause. Kubra still viewed her as one of the best importers, and was grateful for her coming back fresh. For the next three years, she worked for him assiduously and went as high as one could get inside this business.

This week, however, would be a tough one. Not only did Alex need to conduct business in Brussels, where things had started to go downfall for her and Piper, but she also needed to meet Kubra in Paris, and then fly back to the States for her best friend Nicky's wedding to Lorna. Alex was looking forward to the wedding, but Brussels and Paris, not so much. For the past five years she had avoided these places, but Kubra made it an imperative that she go herself to the meetings this time. Waiting for her plane to take-off for Brussels, Alex could not stop herself from thinking about Piper.

What is the blond doing now? Is she living the perfect middle-class, heteronormative life her mother so badly wanted for her? Has she found herself a nice husband? Does she have children? Some of these questions just gave Alex a head-ache. Why did she still care so much? After all, Piper had abandoned her on the day her mother die; she didn't deserve being thought about. So Alex took a sleeping pill to get through this transcontinental flight without her memories taunting her.

Brussels had gone smoothly. Paris was a little harder, but she was so busy she did not see the time fly, and soon enough she was back on a plane to the US with 500'000 extra dollars in her offshore bank account.

When she arrived in New York, Nicky was here to greet her.

-"Hey Vause, you look like Hell! No one ever tell you sleep on overnight flights?"

-"Shut up Nichols. How's the fiancé?"

-"Well, it's Lorna you know! I'm basically not allowed to enter the apartment as she keeps trying on her dress. She's even put me on the 'no sex until we get married' regime."

-"Your hormones must be dying; you sure you won't jump on me?"

-"Says the girl without a partner."

-"I don't need stability to get what I want when I want it Nichols, surely you know what I mean."

-"I do Vause, I do. But we gotta find you a real girl! It's been fucking five years!"

-"It's not written 'desperate' on my forehead Nicky. That would be you for sex with Lorna."

-"Damn Vause, you've become embittered. Now we really gotta do something!"

The two of them joked around on the car ride to Alex's place. She had never sold the apartment she shared with Piper. She had simply changed in completely. No memories of the blond remained, except for the few pictures packed at the bottom of boxes stored in the building's basement. And anyways, she was barely ever in New York anymore.

Nicky and Lorna's wedding was the next day, so she had the evening to herself. Like her good old self, she grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch with a good book. Kubra had given her one week to relax after the great deal she made, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

15 minutes later, Alex's phone rang. It was a text from Cynthia, an ex hook-up of hers.

-Let's hit the club tonight! Celebrate your return! Olivia and Tess are also up for it!

This had Nicky written all over it. Of course Nichols had warned their friends (or mere sex buddies) that Alex was back, so that Alex would "get some". Despite her lack of enthusiasm, Alex decided to prove a point to Nicky and go. Besides, she did miss the New York night-life.

At 11pm she was in front of the club and met her three friends. Their reputation at the club allowed them to skip the waiting line and get the best table at the VIP corner. Sitting down, Alex decided that she might as well make this a constructive night and find some mules. She needed some more anyways. After three Redbull vodkas, the four friends hit the dancefloor.

-"Girl, you still can move!" said Cynthia. "We've missed these nights in your company."

-"Well, what can I say, there is no other Alex Vause!" Alex relied with her famous smirk.

-"Who's your prey tonight?" demanded Tess.

-"Haven't decided yet; but who said it was one prey?"

-"You'll never change Vause! Even that blond of yours didn't change you."

-"Let the past stay in the past Tess, and let me enjoy my night."

-"Ooh, someone's still defensive!" retorted Olivia.

-"We'll see about that when the evening is over and I go home with someone and you're alone", Alex replied on a daring tone.

With that, she left the group to dance with a tall brunette she had been eyeing. Three songs later, she was thirsty. "Can I get you a drink?" she asked. The tall brunette accepted and both women went to the bar.

-"I'm Simone," said the Brunette.

-"Alex", Alex replied with her usual smirk.

-"Well Alex, I have a table with some friends over in the corner. Care to join us?"

-"Who could say no to your pretty eyes?", replied Alex.

-"I'll have to warn you, we're regulars and some of my friends are as high as kites. I hope you don't mind that."

Alex answered with her smirk, and the two women headed to the far corner of the club. This would be perfect. Simone seemed like one of those rich daddy's girl, and she would have no problem finding what she wanted for her business among the girl's crew.

-"Hey guys, this is Alex. She'll be joining us for the champagne you ordered Carl."

Alex looked around the table. About ten people, both men and women, were sitting drunk or high to bits and laughing or staring out in space. She spotted a few girls who would make perfect mules, and was determined to engage is conversation. She couldn't really see the people further back as it was too dark.

After about 10 minutes of talking with her new "friends", a girl sitting in the back, obviously extremely high, kept moaning incomprehensible things. Alex could see the girl was blond, but she couldn't quite see her face. For some reason, however, she could not stop herself from looking every other minute.

-"Oh, don't mind her. She comes here and gets high. She's actually nice if you get an actual comprehensible conversation out of her. Milly really likes her so we have her sit at our table every time we're here. But Piper's no danger."

Piper, had she heard that right? Alex glanced back at the almost passed-out woman again and still she could not see her face. But worry streamed through her body. "Excuse me," she said as she moved passed the four people sitting to her right to get to the blond. As she got closer to her, her nightmare became real. The blond woman was none other than Piper Chapman, skin and bones, in delirium due to the drugs. Alex took her left arm and saw more than a dozen syringe marks. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Alex yelled. She froze. How could this be happening? How did Piper come to this? What had happened?

-XX—

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to review! Both encouragements and critiques are welcome. Perhaps a second chapter will come up soon if I see that enough people are enthusiastic about the story!

Again, I do not own any of the characters.

Soul.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello to all ! Thank you for all of the kind reviews, favorites, and follows for Chapter 1. It really is encouraging. I hope you like this one! Don't forget to review telling me how you liked it, and leave your ideas, I'm really open to incorporating things that you guys and girls want! Enjoy!

 **Chapter 2**

Alex's POV

"Piper! Piper! PIPES! Wake up!" Alex yelled while shaking the blond. "Oh God what the hell happened to you?" All she received as an answer were small moans and facial expressions of discomfort. But Piper did not open her eyes.

-"You know her?" asked Simone.

-"Yeah. Can you just please help me get her out of this club?"

Alex was in shock and she was unable to deal with the situation as she normally would. She knew how to deal with an addict and how to take care of someone passed out from drugs, but right there it was impossible for her to think straight. Piper, the one woman who hated the drug world and wanted nothing else than for Alex to drop the business, was now injecting herself with the one substance she despised. What happened to the woman who condemned Alex's business and continually told her how many lives she was helping to ruin? When Alex was wondering if Piper was leading the white, middle-class, heteronormative life, well, she was somewhat far off. Damn, what was she going to do?

Outside the club, she texted her friends saying it would be an early night for her and that she'd see them at the wedding the next day. "Damn," thought Alex, how was she going to deal with this situation and the wedding? She sat Piper on a bench located in a small green space in front of the club. "Come on Pipes, open your eyes." Clearly, she wasn't getting very far. She decided the best decision would be for her to bring Piper back to her place, where she knew she herself could focus better than on a park bench in the middle of the night. And who knew if the police was around.

She called a cab and placed Piper next to herself. Not once did she think she would be bringing Piper back to this apartment, and clearly not in this state. This was fucked up; really fucked up. On this thought Piper's head fell against Alex's shoulder. The blond was clearly asleep, but to Alex, despite the horrible situation, somehow having the blond resting her head on her shoulder felt like the most normal thing in the world.

They arrived at Alex's apartment, Alex paid the driver, and is was a hassle to get Piper in the elevator and into the apartment. Piper wanted nothing but to sleep, and was in no way helpful. Despite Alex's annoyance, she was relieved it was her taking care of the blond. What if someone else had taken Piper and then taken advantage of her? She quickly wiped that thought out of her head, as it made her sick to her stomach.

Entering her apartment with Piper in her arms had been so unimaginable to Alex merely two hours ago, and she did not know how exactly to feel about this reaquaintance. Part of her felt extreme happiness to see the blond, but a bigger part of her was so angry. Angry about their whole story, but also at Piper for letting herself succumb to this. She also felt angry at herself for letting it happen, even if she could have done nothing as she did not know. Confusion also spoke. Why? How? Since when? Too many thoughts were racing through Alex's brain and the alcohol she had consumed was not helping.

She did not know where to lay Piper down. The bed? The couch? Fuck it she should just pretend the blond was any other addict friend she was helping out. But this was Piper. She decided she would give her the bed. Alex would squat the couch, if she could even sleep after all of this. She laid Piper down and looked at her sleeping. Despite her state of mind, despite the purple-colored pockets under her eyes and despite her bulging cheekbones, Piper remained beautiful; at least in Alex's eyes.

Alex suddenly felt scared; scared of the power Piper still had on her. Maybe she should have just left Piper there; she was with friends anyways, right? She covered up the blond with the blanket fully clothed and left the room to fall, exhausted, on the couch. Her head was spinning, and all she could think of was the blond sleeping in the next room.

Four hours later, and without managing a single minute of sleep, Alex decided to get up and go for a quick run. That would calm her down. Quietly she entered her room and saw that the blond was still deep into the world of sleep. She changed, and before leaving left a note on the kitchen counter.

 _I'll be back soon. Fridge is full if you want something. A._

Really, she had no idea what to write, so she set out for something simple and vague.

Piper's POV

As she reached the world of consciousness, Piper felt nothing but the pain of her head and, in fact, all of her joints. Fuck, she hated waking up after having used. But somehow, wherever she was did not feel like Millie's couch. It felt a thousand times more comfortable. And that smell, what was it? She knew that smell. ALEX! Fuck, was she hallucinating still? Slowly, she opened her eyes and realized that indeed, this was not Millie's place. But why did it smell like Alex? But wait, this room, she knew this room! The furniture and color may have changed but this was her room, or used to be. Shit, this could not be happening, not like this.

She quickly sat up, realized the room was spinning, and slowed herself down. As she opened the door out of the room, she could see that this was not a dream. The apartment she was in was Alex's apartment, their apartment. Shit, she needed a dose. To her relief, she realized she was alone. She found her shoes and headed to the door. But as she passed she saw the note. Should she just walk out without writing anything? Should she wait? No! That was a very bad idea, especially in her state. But she thought about how she had left Alex in Paris five years back, and merely disappearing would not help her cause to be perhaps, one day, forgiven. So she took the pen beside the notepad and wrote.

 _This was not supposed to happen in this way. I'm sorry Alex. P._

And with this she left the apartment.

-XX—

This is it for Chapter 2. Again, please tell me if you want more! The more encouragement I get, the faster the updates will be! Cheers!

Soul.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **Hello wonderful readers! After, much, MUCH too long, I have finally decided to start writing this story again. Thank you to those who kept messaging me, I owe it to you… I quite frankly don't know how often I'll update, but hopefully your messages will keep me motivated! Please review, any ideas and comments are welcome!**

 **Also, I apologize if my description of being high or withdrawal symptoms is inaccurate. I did my best with an unknown!**

 **Cheers,**

 **Soul.**

Alex's POV

Alex ran 5 miles, sweating off the rest of last night's alcohol and confusing emotions. Running was meditative: breathe-in three strides, breathe-out three strides, repeat… In fact, Piper had taught her that. FUCK, what was she going to do?! What the fuck was she supposed to say to the blond, probably still lying in her bed, hungover and likely in withdrawal, after five years?

"Damn, one minute at a time Vause!," Alex thought to herself.

As she walked into her apartment, she couldn't hear a thing. Either Piper was still asleep, or she was gone. She laughed inside, a bitter laugh. Alex wouldn't be surprised, after all that's what Piper did; leave.

She walked to her bedroom and found the bed empty. So it was as she thought. People never change. Alex became angry; once again angry at Piper, but more so at herself for still being affected like this. SHIT, what was it about this blond?

As she walked to the kitchen to get herself some water before hitting the shower, she saw her note. But something was written below what she had wrote…

 _This was not supposed to happen in this way. I'm sorry Alex. P._

FUCK HER! Who was she to decide how it should happen?! And just leave like this?!

Alex suddenly realized that she had, albeit unconsciously, been hoping to find Piper home, like she used to.

"Get it together Vause! Just let it go!", Alex spoke out loud.

But what would happen to Piper out there? Where did she live? Did she even have a place? What would become of her? Would she die of an overdose, find her way? Should she even care? DAMN, this was too complicated for a day where she was supposed to be RELAXING! A day off, it's not like she had many of those. And SHIT, it was Nicky and Lorna's wedding tonight… How would she tell Nicky about this? Should she even bother, it's not like Piper was back in her life anyways. Just there and gone. She should better simply forget about this…

—

Nicky and Alex had met during Alex's stay at the rehab facility. Although Alex had wanted nothing to do with anyone, Nicky was insistent.

"Hey Stretch! When can I get in between those long legs of yours?," Nicky had kept on at it for days.

Not counting a small desperate episode, nothing sexual had actually developed between them. But a close friendship had. Both witty, both direct, their personalities mixed well. And anyways, a buddy was great to have during rehab. But despite their constant joking around and picking at each other, both women had also confided in each other. They knew each other's stories, vulnerabilities, and they knew they could count on each other when needed. But they both also had their pride, which never made opening up the easiest thing.

—

Alex still didn't know if she would tell Nicky. Not tonight anyways, tonight was her friend's night. Right now, Alex should just forget about the past 12 hours. In fact, despite her day off she had some work to do. She needed to organize the transfer of drugs from Belarus to Paris, and for this needed to find two more mules.

Reading through Kubra's request, she saw the quantity of drugs the drug lord wanted her to move. Despite her love of the life this job offered, and the fact that she was basically the best importer Kubra had ever worked with, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about what Piper had once told her: how many lives are you ruining?… Had she ruined Piper's too? But FUCK, Piper was the one who left and broke her heart!

Piper's POV

Piper walked her way back to Millie's place. It was further than she thought, and the air was chilly. Her joints, her head, they were all starting to hurt even more. She was starting to feel her blood pulsing, and as she walked familiar streets she sought out any of the dealers she knew.

How the hell did she end up in Alex's apartment? In her bed? What the fuck had happened? Had they…? NO! No, that wasn't possible. She couldn't fathom to have touched Alex once again, without remembering it the next morning. Surely she would remember; she was constantly haunted by her past, by the love she left behind.

—

When Piper left Alex 5 years ago, she came back to the States broken. Back at her parents' house, her mother found nothing better to do than scold her daughter for not taking her life seriously. What Piper needed to do now, she said, was find a job and push her career and, even more importantly, find herself a nice husband.

Piper was too tired and broken to rebel. She left, but she loved Alex. She just hated Alex's job, the drugs, and the fact that they came first. Piper couldn't do it anymore. But Piper knew that she would never find again what she had with Alex, never love any one like she did that tall, dark-haired beauty.

So Piper did what was expected of her. She found a job in a publishing house and met a guy named Larry. Larry was a nice guy, sweet. He loved Piper, and he was normal. But, normal soon became dull. Piper couldn't help herself, and despite her constant inner reprimands, Alex wouldn't leave her brain. Piper kept asking herself what her life would be like if she had stayed… What was Alex doing? Where was she? She constantly dreamed about her, in her sleep, but also in daydreams, and fantasized while having sex with Larry.

After about three years, she couldn't do it anymore. Piper was feeling anger towards the woman she still desperately loved and towards herself for leaving; pain that she had broken something and was broken; sad that she would never be this happy again…

Larry started to notice and kept pushing, which pissed Piper off. This was none of his business, and it only made her more depressed. She would get moments of bravery, where she thought she could leave this planned out life she hated and pursue the adventure she wanted. Find Alex again, find a way to be forgiven, live happily ever after. But this was just a dream, her dream.

One days, on such a spring of hope, Piper quit her job, left Larry, and bought a plane ticket to Paris. She had gone a few times back to Alex's old apartment in New York, to see that Alex still owned it, but never seemed to be there. So Piper figured that she was still in Europe, and in the spur of the moment, she thought she'd try Paris and the places they used to hang out at.

After two weeks of searching and disappointment, Piper didn't know where to look anymore. Her enthusiasm was slowly dying, and her depression coming back.

One night, in a club she and Al used to go to, where Alex would recruit mules. Piper drank and danced herself to oblivion. A man came up to her, asking if she wanted to join his group…

Drunk and now careless, Piper accepted. As they walked to the man's VIP table, she saw that many of his friends were high. The man asked if Piper wanted some. Piper hesitated…but suddenly, she thought about how Alex chose drugs over her, how drugs was what tore them apart. But maybe drugs were also the way Piper could feel closer to Alex, understand why she had chosen them, even though Alex had never used herself. But maybe Alex had after they broke up, to numb the pain. Maybe that's what Piper should have done at the time. Yeah, she was going to take some and numb the pain.

But Piper didn't know how, and had her new man friend inject them into her…

All at once, Piper felt everything slow and calm down. The music, people's voices, people's movements. Her own anxiety, all of her emotions. Her pain. And she thought about Alex… All of their wonderful times together, all over the world. Her laugh, her voice. Her eyes, her smile. Her body, and what it used to do to her. Suddenly, Piper was happy. Pure happiness. She was with Alex, laughing, and all was fine…

Piper woke up the next day in some apartment. She had no idea where, and no idea of what had happened to her after taking the drugs. Piper sprung up, in a moment of alertness, but only to feel so much pain in her body, and nausea building up rapidly in her stomach. Shit, she regretted it instantly, and decided it was time to go bac home. Maybe she should finally take Polly's proposition to start a home made soap brand…

The plane ride back to the States was horrible. All that Piper felt was more pain, and more nausea. Crying in the tiny, smelly airplane toilets, she remembered how, when high, she had felt that happiness again, the happiness of being with Alex…

When she was back, Piper tried once again to forget. She contacted Polly, but found out that her best friend had started her soap business with someone else. Piper suddenly had no one. No more Larry, nor more job, no more Polly, and still no more Alex. In no circumstances did she want to go back to her mother, and too scared to she disappointment in her father's face. Piper decided she would try and find a small job, while taking the time to make the big decisions of what she wanted to do now. And back to waitressing she was…

Through her waitressing job, Piper met a new crowd of friends, some of them into drugs. A couple of grils in the group were gay, and Piper felt once again what it's like to be with a woman. But such adventures only reminded her of Alex, and what she lost. Like with Larry, all she could ever really see, or hope to see, was Alex.

One night, an evening out in a club, Piper thinks again about how happy she was with Al, what they had. Looking at her high friends, and remembering that she had finally felt that happiness agin when high herself, Piper wanted to go back. So there she was, taking a dose from her friend…

And that was when everything started to spiral down. More rapidly than slowly, finding that happiness became a habit. Piper lost her job because of late or missed shifts, could not pay rent anymore and moved in with her 'friend-with-benefits' Millie, and spiralled further down from there, and down to that morning, where she found herself in Alex's bed…


End file.
